The Next Chapter

When I came to university in September 2018, I somehow thought it was never going to end. Caught up in my colourful new life of clubbing on a Monday and basking in the parks and green spaces of Gloucestershire, it never really felt it would ever come to a close. The past three years of my life (despite the pandemic) had me wrapped up in a blissful, safe bubble of growth. My university was a cocoon of both chaos and empowerment for me to emerge an entirely new woman at the end. If you’d have told me at 21 I’d be writing for a music magazine and about to start my first ever full-time job, I would have laughed in your face.

But nobody ever talks about the ending of university, do they? There’s so much buzz about student life and what it will be like when you get there, but not much discussion of the next chapter. Whilst I’m so ready to sink my teeth into the next meaty (well, tofu-y if you will, I’m vegetarian) chapter of my life, I’m already preparing for a grieving process. Talks of our last meal together or last hug with my housemate already have us teary eyed and anxious. Leaving university will be like losing a dear friend, someone who has encouraged me to do things that scare me, someone who has witnessed me become the strongest version of myself, allowing me to be both vulnerable and powerful. Someone who even helped me conquer my phone fear, I know – madness. At this point I could ring up Queen Liz for a chat and not have a single anxious stutter, now that is growth.

Imagine losing someone who has seen so many sides of you. It’s even more heart-breaking when so much of your time with this ‘person’ was lost due to a pandemic. My time at UOG will never be forgotten and before I begin to cry anymore, here’s some of the most unexpected experiences and changes this 3-year experience has given me:

1. I’m basically Gordon Ramsay: Gordon, if you’re reading this you best feel scared because I invite you to try my creamy parmesan pasta or vegan butternut squash curry and I’m coming for your job. I came to my first-year uni accommodation armed with oven meals and pot noodles and am emerging as a Michelin star chef. Ever had potato dauphinoise? Well, until three months ago I had no idea what it was either, but now? I am pretty much the potato princess. The pasta master. A woman of many cookery talents.

2. Fabric conditioner gives me life: I discovered doing laundry is actually thrilling. Lenor, DM me for a collab. Nothing gives me joy like hanging out washing on the line, bringing it inside, folding it up and giving it a fat sniff. It really is the simple things in life.

3. I may as well have a PhD in emails and phone calls: Like I said earlier, having to live independently, and being forced into an age of constant zoom calls and emails has eliminated my anxious tremble when calling somebody up. I can whip up a bloody good email and my telephone voice is like listening to a different person.

4. I LOVE the outdoors: Coming from city life, I always felt comfortable in shopping malls and heaving town centres. Now I have an ornate appreciation for cows and there’s nothing I love more than adventuring, capturing sunsets and making memories without the presence of my phone.

5. The life I want is more accessible than I think: I have been really lucky to have attended so many events and talks with successful people in media and to have interviewed some incredible people too. I mean, there’s a photo of me stood right next to Harry Redknapp which if I have children, they will never hear the end of. My immediate family work in retail so as I was growing up people who wrote for magazines felt way out of my reach, like they weren’t even real. To begin with interviews were terrifying, these people felt like celebrities, but one thing I taught myself is that literally everybody on this planet poops. And thinking of that really helped me, I mean if this amazingly successful journalist takes a dump too than there’s actually not that much difference between us. Literally everyone you meet is just a human being trying to do something they enjoy so there’s no need to be scared of talking to anybody. My one regret is that I didn't believe in myself enough growing up and coming to university because I can and I am writing for magazines and news organisations. People are not above me or out of my reach and talking to them and listening to their experience and advice is what allowed me to achieve what I have done so far.

If you’re able to move away from home to study, I strongly recommend it. It will probably sting when it ends but you will be so thankful for who you’ve become. The truth is not a lot happens when you stay in your comfort zone, so just pretend you're confident (nobody can tell the difference), feel your fears and do the thing anyway.