Being a Self-taught Musician Changed me as a Person

Music has opened the door for many opportunities that I would have never had the confidence for before. Could teaching ourselves music be the way to help our anxious generation?

Every Wednesday I sat behind a cheap keyboard, clunking out the notes to Lady Gaga’s ‘Just Dance’ whilst my heavily pregnant teacher stood exhausted and fit to burst, trying to control teenagers who were persistent on pressing the DJ button, in a sweaty classroom.

I asked my mum for a keyboard of my own, circling the cheapest option in the Argos catalogue. I learnt my first full song ‘Turning Tables’ by Adele by following a YouTube tutorial and felt accomplished, pride fluttered in my chest, gripped at my throat.

I worked hard trying to squash poorly crafted lyrics over simple chords, and at 14 I was gifted with a guitar from my mum’s ex-boyfriend, cobalt blue with black ombre fading from the outside in and a black tear drop pick-guard. I will conquer you next, I thought.

My first solo gig at age 15

I taught myself chord patterns and tabs; I learnt secretly, writing and playing songs in my bedroom. Anyone who shared anything creative was a target for an opinion, and often not a good one but I felt as though I hadn’t much else to offer and not a lot to lose, plus everyone found musicians attractive, right? That would be a bonus. I signed up to perform at a Christmas fayre.

Despite the odd comment, most people took my leap into performing quite well, on the night of my first solo gig, my friends stood in the crowd, two smiling faces holding up a poster they made for me. Not long after I received a message from a guy who had played in a few different bands. “I’m starting a band and we were wondering if you’d like to sing for us?” I left the message unopened whilst I spent hours wondering if I was good enough. I accepted the offer and was added to a group chat to plan out a set-list and think of a band name. We started spending a lot of time together outside of making music too; I found myself in this wonderful friendship of trips to McDonald’s and Friday nights in with pizza and guitars.

One of my last performances in the band

Teaching myself how to play music was the best thing I ever did. So many people tell me they would love to be able to play an instrument and wished they had learnt years ago, but the fact is that to be good at something you don’t have to have expensive lessons from the age of six, you can do it yourself. The internet can be a wonderful thing and one of the best things about it is that YouTube is FREE. There isn’t much excuse anymore to not try to teach yourself something you’ve always longed of doing. Performing gave me so much confidence, whenever I felt nervous speaking to new people I would always think, ‘why am I so worried? I stand in front of a crowd of over 100 people, If I can do that, I can do this.’ And not forgetting that having been in a band looks great on a CV or personal statement. It is important to say yes to new things, especially the things you act out in the shower like singing on stage (everyone does it), a quick decision of saying yes to a scary opportunity could shape you into a whole new being.