An Introverts Guide To Moving Away For University

After what was possibly the most controversial A level results day, students everywhere are more muddled with anxiety than ever. Starting university, especially when moving away either internationally or to another part of the country is nauseatingly daunting. 

But, have no fear! I have compiled a list to help all of my fellow introverted, anxiety fuelled students survive their first year. Bare in mind, some of the things listed such as advice for socials and nights out may not apply yet, but I have every faith that it will again soon, so I’ve kept it in for future reference.

• Take snacks to share!

You know how in primary school you would give out sweets on your birthday and suddenly everyone would want to play with you that day? Well, that mentality never really goes away. Taking some snacks or even something you baked yourself is a great way to start conversations and gives your flat mates a good first impression that you’re thoughtful and kind. Obviously, not everyone has the funds to do this and you can definitely make a good impression without baked-goods, but if it’s something that is accessible to you, go for it!

• Force yourself to spend time in communal areas

I know, it’s much easier to stay wrapped up in a blanket cocoon in your room than socialise with new people, but it is necessary for you to befriend and talk to people to survive university. It’s completely fine to have time alone in your room now and then (we will get to this point later on) but make sure you emerge out of your cave now and then. If this seems really hard aim to spend three nights per week in your communal area with your flat mates or out doing something social and as time goes by you can increase this as your confidence grows around your new friends. The one thing I regret about my first year in halls was spending too much time in my room simply because I was too shy. Evenings watching TV and playing games in your living space are when you find out the most tea; who fancies who, who hates who, which of the maintenance staff are the weirdest, it all comes out here, so be there for it! By spending time with your flat mates you will also keep in the loop of what social events are happening and will be more likely to be invited.

• Accept invites and go out without draining your social battery

The same rule for spending time in communal areas applies with nights out and social events; aim for a certain number of events per week or fortnight and aim to stick to this. Make sure you spend enough time being sociable but without diving into the deep end too fast. Work events around your time table for lectures so you can have a lie in the next day and recharge. Socials with people who have the same interests as you will be easier as you will have the comfort of knowing you can talk about topics you love and the conversation won’t run dry. If you can, aim to join societies or go out with course mates as these are the people you will find easier to talk to due to that shared common interest. 

• Buddy up

Once you have begun to settle more into uni life, having one or two close friends can help you to explore wider social situations. That girl who you were put in group with for a project who was really kind? Ask her to go to a society social with you or invite her along on a night out with your flat mates. Having one close buddy can ease the anxiety of being lost in a group and not having the confidence to talk to so many people at once. 

• Always say hello and goodbye

No matter how shy you are when it comes to going into your communal space, always say hi when entering and bye when leaving. This same rule applies for when you go home for a week and when you get back on campus. Let your flat mates know that you’re leaving, have a little chat before you go and when you come back to catch up. 

• Refrain from taking food into your room

Despite how much work you have to do, or how much you hate eating in front of new people, always try to eat at least one meal per day in your communal space. If the idea of this seems to much, start by having a snack in there whilst the TV is on and build up your confidence so you can eventually have every evening meal in your communal space. This will be the most sociable time for you to get to know your house mates so even if you choose to spend the rest of the evening alone in your room, make sure you use meal times to socialise. 

• Get comfortable with local travel

Get to know your new area by learning bus timetables and researching where the best parks, pubs, shops and venues are and how to get there. Being familiar with local travel will help you feel more confident and could give you the courage to ask friends or flat mates to go on a day trip out! Local nature spots will be your safe haven as an introvert. If things are getting too much, a walk or sit down in the park with a book or earphones will drastically improve your mental health.

• Spending time in you room is fine but tell your flat mates!

There is no shame in wanting some alone time and if you’re really struggling to get social it’s okay to recharge in your room, but always let your flat mates know! This is where I went wrong. I spent a lot of time in my room and it made it awkward for myself when I did feel like being sociable because I felt like it would weird my flat mates out if I suddenly wanted to join in when all I had done so far was hide away. Tell them “I will probably be in my room most of today, I’m feeling quite tired to I’m just gonna have a lazy day to myself, I’ll see you later at tea time.” or “I have a lot of work to do, so I’ll be in my room a while.” Be honest and be open. No matter how much of a social butterfly someone is, they will still need downtime too, so nobody will judge if you make this clear.

That’s about it. You’ll smash it! Most people love university, it takes some longer than others to adapt, but if you go and decide it’s not for you, staff and students are all usually very understanding of this and at least you gave it a shot! Try to push yourself and try new things, remind yourself you’re only going to be here once. Make the most of tutors, counselling and support if these are available to you, it will make you’re experience a lot smoother. And finally, if you get the last king card during ring of fire, no matter how much everyone insists, you really do not have to down that dirty pint. Take it to the toilet and pour it away, no one will ever know. 

Good luck!